one evening in front of computer..

Today, I opened Comments Section and found 5 spam comments queue in it. I know what SPAM stands for, but sometimes I feel hopeless to read the spam comment. Sometimes it’s kinda encouraging and giving advice, but why it has to be “SPAM” ? Sometimes it’s frustrating and attacking you as blog admin, and I think I need critics to make better writing, but why it has to be “SPAM”? I wish I could just approve the comment, whether it’s good or bad.. and the commenter’s address look like real one (I’m not good in guessing bizzare address).

Thank you for WordPress/Akismet for filtering every SPAM Comment, though still showing “you’ve got SPAM Comment” .. I’d rather not knowing they exist.



Quitting your Job : What others will say, and what you will say

I want to Quit Job!

I can say it outloud, without hesitation. Can you say it like I do?

Not everybody has the courage to say it, not even a slight thought, because other people will say far too many advices for them.

Start with : WHY do you want to quit?


continue with

employee A : Did you already find new Job?

employee B : You found better offer?

employee C : Don’t quit, this company already gave so much benefit to you..

employee D : How long will you want to keep looking for bigger money? This company pays you well

employee E : Are you sure you can find new job easily? these days people are struggling to find job

employee F : Really?? you are leaving?

employee G : You got better offer? Where?


Familiar with it?

Are you among these people who think that I’m making worst decision in my life?

Well.. It’s completely normal.


Sometimes Quit job doesn’t mean your life end, at least that’s what I believe. We quit job for many reasons, but we never tell our true reason.

Why ?

Because it will be the most ridiculous, out-of-common-sense type of reason everybody can think of. 

I have a friend who’s been in 10 companies in 2 years. Sounds familiar? I don’t know whether she hated her boss in 2nd job, or whether she had evil colleague in her 4th job. I don’t care at all. All I know is She had enough gut to admit that she didn’t belong to her 1st to 10th job, and quitted. Who cares what the other reason is?

and in other case, I found some friends who don’t even want to think of quitting their job because they are scared they will not get any job in the future.

Every day, especially saturday in local newspapers (or internet), many companies posted Job Vacancy .. It means,

A. There are still job vacancies everywhere

B. Unemployment exist, means we still have chance to get the Job

C. Many people aren’t qualified for the job, which leave us choices : Upgrading skill, or become another unemployed.



There is internet.

We’re lucky to live in 21st century, when anything can be money.

We can sell things on the web, or start our own business at our neighbourhood. In short, anything can be possible if you really look into it. So, why bother forcing yourself to stay on company you don’t like, socialize with friends you hate, ass-licking boss you don’t respect?  (I quoted some ideas from other Job-quitters)


so, again,

Do I have confidence to quit? YES

Do I have new job confirned? NO

Do I hate my old boss? NO

Do I hate my ex-colleague? NO

Do I hate my ex-office? NO


As for me, I only have one thing to say :


as simple as that.


“Barter Jiwa”

sebuah kiasan yang bermakna terlalu luas.

Anda tidak perlu merasa tersinggung jika memang ini bukanlah perilaku yang anda lakukan. Kalau saya? Saya sedang mereviewnya sekarang. 3 tahun terakhir saya melakukan barter jiwa dengan berbagai hal.

1) Uang.

2) Jabatan.

3) Uang.

Bayangkan saja, hanya dalam 3 tahun saya sudah membarterkan jiwa saya untuk 3 hal diatas. Bagaimana dengan orang yang sudah berusia 30 tahun? 50 tahun? 60 tahun? 70 tahun? Adakah orang yang seumur hidupnya tidak pernah membarterkan jiwanya untuk hal lain? atau malah seumur hidup membarterkan jiwanya? Saya akan angkat topi. Bagaimana caranya tetap hidup di masyarakat modern tanpa barter jiwa? Bagaimana caranya tetap mempertahankan jiwa kita otentik dengan tetap mempertahankan posisi di masyarakat?

Pertanyaan saya mungkin tidak ada jawaban pastinya. Tapi, dengan mempertanyakan hal ini, berarti anda telah berusaha memikirkan kesejahteraan jiwa anda.

-Provocative night-

Extraordinary = Sin ?

Extraordinary = Sin?

Sorry.. this is just question I’ve been wanting to ask to .. Anyone.

Suppose you live in Society where groupthink takes dominant part.

Are you allowed to do something Extraordinary?

Does something extraordinary equal sin?


For here I will start with “IF”.. and only “IF”..

1) common talk about dream

Are you allowed to picture yourself  in bigger scene? I used to imagine myself in 20 times bigger scale, doing something not just usual, however my closest person said ” you can’t do that”. See how people love to steal somebody’s else dream. Do you recognize yourself in similar situation?

2) common talk about kids.

I must have such bravery to say such thing. but here people talk about kids as if it is so natural/and everybody must have one. Wow..  To see how society creates boundary/restriction/convention is really something. One thing to say is “this vagina belong to me, because it is attached to me.. and it’s not public property” .. in Society where people seem so close to each other, “vagina” is public property. Everybody is concerned how it’s going. well very debatable.. however true. Do you recognize yourself in similar situation?

3) common talk about this and that

Hey Hey.. so what if we have different perspective? One time I had LIGHT talk during lunch.. (with emphasizing Light).. it doesn’t mean to be argueable nor debatable nor leading to more serious one. It was simply LIGHT. However, one of participant who was literally older than me (chronological age, but not psychological age) debated my opinion and trying to turn conversation the other way around.. Geez.. Chill out Ladies.. Do you always do that just because I’m younger and appear more stupid than you? I never agree to any of those.. since well I’m not more of an idiot than you think I am. In fact, by the time you wanted to win the conversation, you will show yourself as idiot.

Ouch Can I say that? Hmm.. well in this very peaceful-discreet-unsincere society.. doing something like that is a sin.

Sometimes even if people do something normatively-stupid, we can’t do anything but following it. Why?

Because if you do something unnormatively-clever, you are wrong!

somebody who can answer my question without saying ” this is just how our society works”  is really appreciated.

Dude, if you are shallow thinker, and can not think of anything for yourself.. and only can copy-cat what everybody does -because everybody does it means you are on the right track? –  better prepare yourself for regular usual live and don’t ever dream of having greater life.


P.S : Dear God, please forgive me I have done a sin.

Hypocrisy : Old Term, Old way, Recent Application

I can not help myself not to talk about this, since well everyone of us does it, possessed by it, or even live with it.

Hypocrisy came from word  “hypo” and “krinein“. “Hypo” means under. “Krinein” means to sift or decide ( Later many adjustment enriched the word, but bottomline is Hypocrisy have intrinsic meaning of Lacking ability to decide on their own. This is really old term (came from ancient greek), old way (people did it from centuries ago), yet it is always recent issue (have you encountered how many hypocrite in today’s world?).

Since when people learn to be hypocrite? Maybe since a little girl, or even littler when you are baby. We live in society where telling the truth is painful, yet not very fun to hear. So our ancestors created certain way to make others feel good about themselves (no matter how terrible a person he might be), and that ability been passed thru generation. We inherited their genes, we learned their mistake, we copied their hypocrisy. That is why it keeps alive in every generation.

Say, is it a good thing? hmm.. let me think.

Recent world, as we all live in it today, is pretty messed up. Human is getting more knowledgable, more intelligent, more awareness of society. So hypocrisy is a must. BUT, this is not a line I should be speaking. To be Frank, I hate it. I have done, I’ve been living with it, Yet I still can not get used to it. Why, because the more you do hypocrisy, the more it will reduce your ability to decide. To decide means to be brave enough to say this is what I want, or which side I am. We are in modern society, keeps playing an act, in order for society to continue, yet we are degrading inside. Example of result : you will see coward, liar everywhere. People are supposed to have brave heart, think big, and do Big. but now they are turning themselves into lower level of their awareness. If modern people must be put in war, can not imagine how many people will voluntarily say yes for frontliner. They will chicken out and say nice thing of “I am good with treating injured patients ” or something like it, while they are not any closer to medical background.


If everybody is good with being hypocrite, maybe we can all be actors and famous for sure. This is actually a pretty good softskill, so I encourage each of you to do wholeheartedly. If you can’t , just don’t do it. As simple as that. So talk is slightly changing from here. How should we make use of hypocrisy?

1) send your CV to talent agent, hopefully you’ll get auditioned

2) join a social network where everybody is complete strangers. You will end up being normative, and say really nice things.

3) date a guy who is totally loser, but praise him everytime with magic words “I love you”

4)stop being the real you. this may seem hard, but try to put someoneelse’s shoes and don’t return to your old shoe.

… and more….

500 people should read it and put into action. See how the world turn better and worse.

after all, it’s fun to observe.

Even an OCD needs a break

First of all, it doesn’t point to me.

Second, if all OCD never sleeps then what will it be like?



What it be like working 8 hrs a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year without any single break?

Wew.. I think I had once. Not exactly repeating it for another year. but bottom line is

Everybody needs  a holiday.

We got tired living in Indonesia, that’s for sure.

Are you trying hard enough but earning very little?

was there a time when you wish you could eat better than now?

was there a time when you wish you could breathe fresher air?

was there a time when you wish you could get much better salary?

I thought about all these idealism, and that made me an OCD.


Go out of the house every morning just to meet thousands of cars dropping off pollution which I sucked it right into my nose. wow, that’s crazy. but crazier for people who live those everyday, and still not wishing for a change. I think I am crazy, and I dont care, all I want is a better living, better environment, better air, better water. But most people aren’t agree with me, and they keep polluting in every way they want. Either I’m so much of idealistic-OCD, or I’m just an ordinary girl who luckily can manage my sanity among all lunatic people.

The other day I spent some time talking to my lunatic friend who think littering is O’kay. Well what makes he think like that? Now I’m guessing because too much Sulphur Dioxide ran through his blood, that’s why he couldn’t have proper reasoning and judgement. Therefore I’m expressing my condolence.

but so what? thinking about it again and again, meeting people like that again and again, discussing about it again and again.. dude I am officially needing anti-OCD. or I might need a break. The question lies : When am I going to take? and to where I’m escaping? Or maybe I will stop being OCD when everybody around me being release from Mental Hospital.

Otherwise, go figure yourself people. Maybe your brain gets polluted. but don’t pollute mine.

Then I will have long nice OCD-Free Holiday..

well… Later…

I’m Gay, so what?!

Friendsss.. Pernah ketemu / punya teman yang mengaku gay atau lesbi?

Biasanya mereka tidak akan bilang, “I’m gay, so what?” sesantai itu, kecuali anda adalah orang sangat mereka percaya.

dan tidak mudah menjadi orang yang terpercaya. Karena… Kecuali kita adalah sesama orang satu kelompok, kita tidak akan mengerti apa yang mereka rasakan. Saya punya 1-2 teman yang lesbian dan gay, well sebenarnya saya tidak prefer menyebut sebutan ini karena kesannya memarjinalkan. Saya sebut saja, Unique. Because they are unique in many ways most people aren’t. dan walaupun saya terbilang open-minded, saya pun masih tidak mengerti apa yang mereka rasakan.

tapi beberapa orang yang saya kenal, yang tahu punya teman lebih “unique” dari lainnya, mereka cenderung untuk menjauh. Why is that? Ada yang bilang takut ketularan.. Hahaha.. saya suka geli mendengarnya, memangnya itu penyakit menular ya? Atau karena tuntutan profesi orang menjadi gay? Hm…Setiap profesi punya konsekuensi dan risikonya sendiri-sendiri, jadi jangan pilih profesi yang anda akan sesali karena takut tertular penyakit “gay”… or just accept it and deal with it. Kadang-kadang orang suka ga pede dengan dirinya sendiri. Menurut saya, selama kita punya strong sense of self, kita bisa pilih kita mau jadi orang yang seperti apa. up to us.

Ada lagi yang menjauh karena ilfil?? atau malas dinilai sama kalau bergaul dengan orang yang “unique”.. so what getu lho??! Sekali lagi, I think this is just lame reason. They don’t deserve to be marginalized. Saya pernah tinggal dalam waktu cukup lama di tempat dimana saya adalah minoritas, walaupun bukan dalam konteks sexual preference. tapi disitu saya belajar, bahwa termarginalkan adalah hal yang sangat tidak menyenangkan. Hanya karena kita kebetulan tidak di aliran mainstream, apakah serta merta kita salah? Rasanya kurang tepat mengeneralisasi apapun. tapi itu yang selalu dilakukan di masyarakat komunal seperti disini. Anyway, seperti layaknya kaum minoritas, saya berjuang untuk membaur dengan warga sekitar, dan effortnya berkali-kali lipat ketimbang kita bergaul di lingkungan yang kita memang sudah familiar. Disitu saya menghargai perasaan dan effort teman-teman saya yang “unique” , yang berusaha berbaur dengan keadaan sekitar (My friend out there, you know I never offend you whatever path you chose). More or less, it is the same.

Saya punya contoh kasus tentang orang yang cukup shock karena mendengar dari satu orang teman bahwa teman yang lainnya gay. Singkat cerita, Dia chatting dengan saya di YM. Terus dia tanya ,”Res… si X kan gay ya?”, respon saya ” Oh iya.. udah lama kali..”. Setelahnya dia bingung kenapa saya bisa merespon sesantai itu.. saya lanjutkan,” Emangnya kenapa? Emangnya setelah jadi gay, terus dia jadi jahat ma gue.. kan enggak.. “, Kemudian teman saya masih ingin mendebat,” ya.. tapi kan.. ya lu tau lah.. dia kan beda..”. LAHH, TERUS PIYE?? Chatting diakhiri dengan dia yang masih tidak tahu mau berbuat bagaimana, ditambah lagi dia bingung respon santai saya, plus disekitarnya (nampaknya) baru ada 1 orang yang “unique”. Get over it dude!

Anyway, just a personal opinion : Ini bukan hal yang harus diperangi dalam arti kata yang sebenarnya. Saya pecinta damai. Berharap semua orang bisa hidup rukun dan saling mengerti. Karena mereka dan kita tidak berbeda. Baik buruknya seseorang bukan dilihat dari sexual preference-nya tapi seberapa banyak mereka berbuat baik bagi sesama. (menurutku sih…) Well, daripada banyak omong begini, lebih baik kita tanya diri masing-masing.. are we any better than them as a person so that we can discriminate them? I think human value lies on own’s conduct as long as you do good deeds to the society.

– Discriminate if you want to be discriminated, otherwise don’t do it-